What do you do when your bored?

Well, I had planned this blog to be about my life as a knitter. And the trials and tribulations of being a mother who knits. Well, I guess I kind of doing that, but I think it sort of spiraled out of control and into something else entirely the last few months.

These days, my life as a mother is just more interesting to me. And as always, that life is very busy, so I haven't written about knitting or anything related to it in awhile.

Mostly, because I haven't had much to say on the topic.

And I haven't really been knitting much.

I do attend my weekly groups, but the last few times, I brought my drop spindle and roving to play with. Although, I find this relaxing and enjoyable, I know I am just using it as a creative outlet while I sort out my bigger dilemma.

I started a sweater back in August and was chugging along on it. Put in down to finish the infamous pink wrap. Picked it back up again around late October, only to hurl it back into the closet in a fit of disgust around mid December.

While watching a very intense episode of CSI: NY I inadvertently skipped two rows of the lace pattern I was working. Not realizing my error, I kept going for another twelve rows. Yeah, I know... I should have looked, but I didn't.

Two weekends ago, I finally unearthed the sweater from the pits of hell-- otherwise known as the closet-- and proceeded to frog back to the spot in the sweater known as "where the episode started to get interesting and I lost my mind and my place in the pattern".

Successful in my ripping, I figured out where I left off and I started to work a little bit more of the lace pattern. Since that point, I have yet to pick it up let alone look at it. I did remove it from the closet and I returned it to it's previous spot at the bottom of my knitting bag, but I have no desire to deal with it.

Honestly, I can't get excited by anything knitting related right now.

Actually, that's not completely true. I did knit these adorable hearts with faces embroidered on them for Sea's Valentine to his classmates. But it was a quick project. It took me a few nights to finish all nine, but they were small and easy. Also, very portable too!

I also crotched a pair of baby booties. Again, it took me about 4 hours to complete them.

So, I guess I have the attention span for projects that take a few hours, but anything long winded, like a sweater, is asking a little too much.

So, for the time being I will ignore the sweater and spin pretty colored, lumpy, bumpy yarn.

Waxing Philosphical... How do you stop time?

100_8321, originally uploaded by callaghanse.

I have been working on this dilemma since Sea-monster was born. The time is just slipping through my fingers faster than sand it seems.

Even faster these days.

He started preschool the beginning of January and I cried.

I don't cry.

Well, sometimes, but it has to be pretty upsetting. Usually I just get mad or sad and depressed and yell... a lot. Then as quickly as I explode, it's over. Apologies follow and I move on. Crying is usually saved for moments when the stress is too much and yelling isn't going to help. I guess Sea's first day of school was one of these days. It snuck up on me though, because I thought I was handling it so well.

Once, Sea was diagnosed with autism we labored over every decision twice as much as before. The whole transitioning process from home-based therapy to preschool was a nightmare. And despite the headaches and sleepless nights that making a decision caused, we finally made one. All the while crossing our fingers and toes. Luckily, it seems that we did, in fact, make the right decision.

However, on the day he started school, he climbed into the school bus and he was strapped into the car seat. My little boy looked at me and said, "OK. Bye, Bye Mama. I go. See you!" The door was closed and shortly there after the driver pulled out of the driveway and started down the road.

I completely lost it.

Where did the time go?

The dialog running through my mind... He's too little! Yes, he will be 3, but... He'll only be JUST 3!!! He's still a baby... my baby.

Well, he returned 3 hours later, fast asleep. Exhausted and happy. Everyone raving about what a good day he had.

Probably sugar coated because it was his first day. We don't call him Sea-beast for nothing.

But, none the less, he got through it and it was a good start.

He has missed two days total, so far. One, because he had his yearly Dr. checkup-- passed with flying colors! And two, due to a snow day-- part and parcel for this area.

On the days he missed, he kept going to the door and saying, "Look! A door. Bye, bye bus. Let's go!"

As the weeks have gone on and a month has sped by, the consensus is that he loves school. He is still adjusting to the structure, but it seems to be what he needs.

He talks more.

He's more outgoing.

He's affectionate.

He's calmer and can be calmed easier.

And I'm more charmed by him than ever before. And I was very charmed already!

I love his personality. Yes, he has personality. He is a little person with his own sense of self. Striving to make his voice heard.

Amazing.

So, I still want to stop time and always keep him little, but I know that this is impossible, impractical, and he's not going to let me do it anyway.

He's stubborn and fiercly independent, just like me. Not necessarily the highlights of his personality (or mine), but important ones. I think, anyway.

So, I have pictures and written words to remember the silly and wonderful, as well as maybe the not so wonderful, moments in his life. And I will continue to document these moments. All the while annoying the child in the process, but I like to think that he will come to appreciate it later on.

And, honestly, seeing him grow into the person he will someday be is so much better than preserving the unfinished version for eternity.

He may look exactly like his father...

100_8320, originally uploaded by callaghanse.

...but when it comes to being handy with tools, he seems to take after his mother.

Maybe he can fix the kitchen sink?!